Trial and Error

When I first started out, anyone who wasn’t easy to handle or was inexperienced was always turned away and shunned. I had no plans to teach anyone, no need to baby anyone, to walk them through anything. My only real interest in anything back then was money. I saw no benefit in anyone that took time and work. I was taught, so to speak, that slaves that were already trained or knew the lifestyle, or paid for the ‘normal’ (whips, chains, jerking) type of session would be easy prey.

But I’ve come to realize, after countless sessions with dickheads who were more worried about themselves and their fantasy, that the way I was taught to go about things was just not Me. Every experienced sub I ran into proved to be just as much of a useless wanker as the last one did. Not all of them were, but the vast majority of them disgusted Me. For most of My first few years, I was becoming fed up with choosing the slave who only cared about what they were after (just because they paid Me a nice fee) instead of finding someone I could completely mold. It almost came to the point where I even thought about leaving this beautiful lifestyle (I’m very glad that I didn’t).

But then shortly after I gave birth to My daughter, and My raging hormones were finally coming down, I happened to find Vanessa. She had no training, never did a session, had not one single penny to give Me, and didn’t know much about anything or any of the formalities. And at this time I was strictly a Pro Domme, so with all he had to offer I had very little interest in him. But I needed some tasks tested and he seemed very eager. So I accepted him.
I think our first few “encounters” were normal. I demanded and he did. But he would often speak out of turn, become super friendly with Me, expected to be treated like an equal. It made My blood boil. He even had the nerve to suggest that he was good enough for Me to date.

All this coming from a man who didn’t even have a place he could call his own, nor could he even buy $5 worth of My time. Many times during our first month together, I felt like getting rid of him. But every time I was about to, he would do a task I instructed him to do so perfectly, I changed My mind. The effects of not really knowing what the fuck to do with him wore Me down. I had become so used to easy money that something that could be so easily fixed had Me in a stump. As we began our second month together, I began spending many nights devising creative games to play with him, which would make breaking him in more fun for Me. Using this game as a disguise easily fooled him into thinking he was safe, but I was extremely determined to change him. To be able to keep using him, without feeling the need to just give up on him. He was just too “manly” for someone who craved to be a bitch. His ego was bigger than his dick, and it baffled, as well as upset Me.

The very first time we played a “game,” I knew his whole world was flipped upside down. The game was simple, but it was comprised of a series of subliminal messages and images, suggesting the idea of falling in love with Me, of wanting to go above and beyond for Me. A first for both of us, I never played with some one’s mind like this, and I was sure he had never been mind-fucked. He was extremely suggestable, and I was really surprised by the results of My little game.

And so our real relationship began…

Vanessa is now a completely devoted sissy. With the help of our “games,” and the occasional glimpse of Me on skype, his ego is exactly where I want it to be. And My journey with him from beginning to end has helped Me better Myself and grow as a Domme. Training and playing with him made Me realize that I am not cut out to pro Domme.  I can’t play a fantasy. I can’t stick to some guideline that I’m paid to follow. I want to enjoy the full pleasures of being a Goddess. I want to take minds, bodies and souls, and shape them into something (ANYTHING) I want or need. I can make My creations work for Me and make money for me, instead of getting paid a one-time fee to watch some dickhead wanker jerk off to My ass on cam.

I respect the hustle, but I deserve better.

Real slavery.
Real slaves.

For a REAL Goddess.

It just makes sense, right?